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Apr 6, 2021

The bell has tolled – What to expect in the days ahead


“What do I do now”?

When a loved one passes, either expectedly or unexpectedly you can be left feeling overwhelmed. Especially if this is the first time you’ve had to deal with the death of somebody close to you. You may feel like there’s so much to do and so little time or completely lost as to where to start. The main thing to remember here is to SLOW DOWN. There is no rush, and there is help available to guide you through this difficult period.

“Who do I ask for help”?

It’s advisable to use a funeral director to help you through this time. A funeral director can handle all aspects of your loved one’s funeral for you, including the smallest details. They’re your adviser, organiser, administrator and supporter. You can find some information here about how to choose the right funeral director for you. https://davisfunerals.co.nz/about/news/10-questions-ask-choosing-funeral-home/

“What happens next?”

Once you have chosen a funeral director, they will take your loved one into their care and prepare them in accordance to your wishes. There are some important choices you will need to make. Don’t feel alone when you’re making these decisions. If you’re unsure or need some advice, your funeral director has travelled this journey many times with families and understands your needs and the pressures you may be experiencing. With their assistance, you will be able to arrange a meaningful farewell for your loved one. Choices you will need to think about include whether or not you would like your loved one to be embalmed, what you would like them to wear, if you would like to spend time with your loved one, did they want to be buried or cremated, the location of the service and who will lead it, the type of casket you would like for your loved one, and other details that your funeral director can help you with.

“How does this all come together”?

Your funeral director will arrange a time to meet with you and anyone else that will be part of the process. They can come to your home or you can come to the funeral home, whichever is most suitable for you. They will have with them, all the information and advice that you’ll need to make the necessary choices. You do not need to make all the decisions at once and you don’t have to make them all at this first meeting. Rest assured that your funeral director is experienced and will make sure that everything happens at a pace that is right for you and your family. They will put you in touch with a minister or celebrant (whichever you choose) who will also arrange to meet with you and discuss how you would like the service to go, and any special readings or pieces of music you would like to include.

As you make decisions, your funeral director will organise everything you require. They will also guide you through the legal requirements to ensure that there are no delays in holding the funeral.

“What happens on the day”?

On the morning of the funeral, your funeral director will call you and check on how you’re feeling and confirm that everything is in place for the day. They will transport your loved one to the venue and make sure that they and the venue are looking their best. Your funeral director will assist and coordinate the funeral service. They’ll have all mourners seated before the funeral begins, hand out service sheets and ensure music and presentations run smoothly.

At the end of the service, your funeral director will either lead out your loved one’s casket followed directly by the immediate family or, if the casket is not being carried from the funeral venue, they will invite the immediate family to pay their respects before exiting.

If you’re not travelling to the crematorium or cemetery, the farewell will generally be at the funeral service venue. It can be inside the funeral venue or at the hearse, and mourners could be offered a flower to place on your loved one’s casket as a final goodbye gesture.

If the funeral service is going to be followed by a burial or committal service at another location, your funeral director will discuss the most appropriate departure time with you.

When the hearse departs, it will drive away at a sedate pace with its headlights on. Following cars should do the same.

“Now what”?

There are a range of feelings that people have after the funeral some feel relief while for others the reality of the loss now becomes apparent. However you feel, rest assured it is normal and natural. Davis Funerals offer a complimentary bereavement care programme through The Grief Centre. In the weeks following the funeral, you will receive a letter telling you about the programme and how you and your family can receive support. If you feel you need to talk to someone sooner, you can talk to your funeral director and they will put you in touch with The Grief Centre.

Once your funeral director receives your loved ones death certificate, they will be in touch with you to arrange delivery of this. If your loved one was cremated, they will also arrange delivery or pick up of their ashes once you feel ready.

If you would like more information please feel free to contact us on 09 638 9026 or head to our website Davis Funerals

Do you need help?

Send an enquiry 09 638 9026