News collection

What is embalming?

So somebody you love has died, one of the first questions you’ll be asked by a funeral director is “Do you want them to be embalmed”. Depending on what experience you may or may not have had in these matters, you might not know what this really means. Embalming is simply the process of sanitizing and preserving the body. If you are considering taking your loved one home for a period of time before the funeral or holding private viewings in the funeral home then embalming will ensure they’re well presented. If your loved one is being repatriated (sent back to another country) then embalming is a legal requirement.

Do I need to see my loved one after they die?

Throughout history people have generally stayed with their loved one up until the funeral. After embalming, the funeral director would bring the body home where it would remain until the day of the service. Family and friends would visit, sit, talk, reminisce and share memories with each other and the deceased. As times have changed and more and more people are choosing no service cremations or burials, this practice, in some cultures, has slowly declined. There are however some very significant advantages to spending time with your loved one after death.

Facing reality – It’s often hard to believe that someone we love has really gone. In fact, denial is the first of the stages of grief. Seeing the body of your loved one, helps bring home the reality and finality of death. Embracing this reality is crucial to the healing process.

Saying goodbye – Throughout our lives, as a matter of course, we are taught to say Hello and Goodbye. We’re also taught the physical gestures that go along with those, such as shaking hands, a hug, a high five, or a smile and head nod. When somebody leaves this earth it is important that we get to say goodbye to them so that we can say anything that we need to, touch them for the last time and prepare ourselves for the next step in the grief journey.

Expressing grief – Grief is universal but individual. We all experience it but how we experience it is unique to us all. Generally, the stronger our attachment to the person, the stronger our grief will be. Grief does not go away but it does get easier to live with IF we allow ourselves to feel and process it. Part of this process is expressing our grief. Gathering with family or friends to view your loved one or having them at home allows you to comfort and console each other, talk about how you’re feeling, cry together and generally mourn the life lost.

What about children and teenagers?

Having a safe and healthy first experience of death can set your child on the right path for dealing with future grief and loss. It’s just as important for children to complete the grief journey as it is for adults. If you’re open and honest about death and funerals with your child, then viewing the deceased should be the beginning of them learning how to live with grief. If you’re not comfortable having your loved one at home with you in the period leading up to the funeral, talk to your funeral director about visiting them in a viewing room at the funeral home. They can support you and your family to have a safe and comfortable experience when spending time with your loved one.

So what are the rules?

Well the short answer is, there are very few. Aside from the legalities and official paperwork, a funeral can be anything and everything you want it to be. Personalizing your loved one’s funeral will ensure a meaningful and memorable experience that honours the life they lived. The size of the venue and number of people attending don’t need to influence how personal you make the service. Anything from a huge venue like Eden Park to something more intimate in your own home can be tailored to represent your loved ones life.

What sorts of things can I personalise?

What sorts of things can’t you personalise is the real question! If you have it at a funeral, chances are there’s a way to personalise it. Let’s look at a few of the more common things in detail.

The Casket – There are a huge range of caskets available now. From the traditional Mahogany with finely detailed handles to an all natural wool or flax version, there is certainly something for everyone. You can opt to have a simple casket painted in a certain colour or hand painted with a design or picture of your choice. Increasingly popular is a plain casket that all your guests can write messages on before the final burial or cremation.

Flowers and Decorations – Traditionally the casket is adorned with a casket spray of the deceased’s favourite type or colour of flowers. However, this does not mean you can’t use something different instead of or as well as. Avid vegetable gardeners have had a bouquet of veggies rather than flowers. A grandad renowned for showing the grandkids his false teeth had a giant pair of dentures made of flowers atop his casket. Another great idea is to use something other than petals for guests to place on the casket. A favourite lolly or chocolate, shells for the beach lover, poker chips for the gambler, woodchips for the woodwork fanatic, anything is possible really!

Transport – There are some beautiful modern hearses around nowadays that are sleek and sporty and will get your loved one to their final resting place in style. There are also some incredibly well kept 50s and 60s hearses that make a real impression as they purr along the road. But, if you think your loved one would have preferred something a little different, there is no shortage of options! Motorcycle hearses are gaining popularity amongst the biking community. Farmers have arrived at and departed from their funerals on tractors, horse drawn carriages are an extremely traditional option that some people still choose to use. There really is something for everybody.

Service Sheets – At most funerals you’ll be handed a service sheet upon arrival. They typically have a photo on the front, the order of service and the words to a song or prayer inside and then a couple of photos on the back. These can be quite easily personalised with colours, flowers, themes and of course photos. You can take them a step further though. There have been secret recipes finally shared, the words to a song or poem written by the deceased included, a picture they drew or painted showcased, a favourite saying memorialised in print, even a message to everyone attending that the deceased may have left. Apart from memories, service sheets are the only thing guests end up with after the service so it can be a nice reminder for them just how special your loved one was.

I know what I want but I don’t know how to get it

A good funeral director will have the contacts to put in place anything you can dream up and if they don’t they will certainly be able find them. You can discuss your ideas with them when they come to arrange the funeral with you and if you think of something else after that they’re always available to help right up until the day itself.

Death is hard

There’s no two ways about it, the death of a grandparent, parent, sibling, friend, anyone you love, is hard. When you’ve never experienced death before it can be even harder. What do you say? How should you act? Who should you tell? Will you go to the funeral? What do you even do at a funeral? What happens afterwards? Will I always miss them? Does this ever get any easier?

The good news

Well believe it or not, there is good news. All your feelings and questions are completely normal and yes, it will get easier. It might not end, but it will get easier. Grief is a process and it’s not the same for everyone. Your grief is yours and there’s no right or wrong way for it to happen. There are no rules when it comes to grief, it’s just important that you let yourself experience it. Natalie Adams lost her dad at the start of high school. She started a website called Teenage Grief Sucks almost all of the content provided is written by teenagers themselves. So you can read stories written by kids your age about subjects such as school and social lives, you can even share your own grief story.

The bad news

You’re going to feel bad, really bad. Sad, angry, confused, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, you may not even be able to believe this is happening. You don’t want any of these feelings but you’ve got them, like it or not. This death thing sucks! But it’s part of life and you’re going to experience it more than once in your lifetime, may as well learn to deal with it now right? Here’s some tips on how to do that.

Feel – Ignoring your feelings may be easier for now but it will cause more pain in the long run. If you don’t feel it now, you’ll have to feel it even more later. Allow yourself to feel and accept that the feelings are normal and won’t last forever.

Talk – It might seem like nobody will understand and some people may not but talking about what you’re feeling helps you to process it better in your mind. A friend, relative, teacher, school counselor, anyone you can trust, if you don’t have anyone you can always call Youthline

Ask for help – If you need more support from your friends and family than usual, ask them for it. If you feel as though you aren’t coping or your feelings are overwhelming you, let someone know. Chances are they will be expecting you to!

Vent – Find a constructive way to vent your feelings. Cry, exercise, write, listen to music, laugh, read, draw, pray, anything that helps you to get that pent up energy out.

Go to the funeral – Rituals such as funerals, allow you to honor and memorialize the person who has died. It may be hard, but going to the funeral will help you acknowledge your loss and begin to move forward.

The funeral

You’ve probably never been to a funeral, you might have seen one on TV but that probably isn’t anything like a real funeral will be. Funerals are so important, they help you to really realise that the person has gone. They help you to remember that person and share or listen to memories of them. You will be in a supportive environment with others that are feeling the same way as you. Most importantly, you will be safe, nobody will be judging your actions or emotions and you won’t say or do the wrong thing. Funerals are for the living!

For more help and advice or to find someone to talk with go to What’s up?

Let’s make a plan

It’s funny; in life, we’re always keen to plan things for ourselves. Weddings, birthday parties, pregnancies, purchasing a home, overseas holidays, all major life events really, except……….our funeral. Why is that? We know it’s going to happen, it’s more certain than anything else in our lives yet we avoid planning it, talking about it, even thinking about it in some cases. Why not create a funeral that’s right for you? You’ll get to choose just how you would like everything to be and your family won’t need to stress when the time comes, they’ll be able to concentrate on being together and sharing stories about all the good times.

What is there to plan? It’s just a funeral isn’t it?

Well, there’s quite a few details that need to be decided on and the more choices you make, the more personalised your funeral will be, making it a reflection of the life you’ve lived. Let’s take a look at some of the options you have.

Type and style of the funeral – Will it have religious or cultural significance? Will it be in a church, a sports club, at home? Will it be traditional and formal or modern and in formal? Will you have a theme or dress code? Will a minister or funeral celebrant take the service?

Final resting place – Would you like to be buried or cremated? Where would you like to be buried? Family plot in another town? Local cemetery? At sea? And if you want to be cremated, where would you like your ashes to go? Kept with family or scattered in a special place?

Casket and urn – Will you have a stock standard plywood casket or would you prefer something personalised and hand painted? If you’re going to be cremated after the service, will you have a matching urn or will you need a scatter tube?

Flowers, music and readings – Do you have a favourite flower or colour preference? Would you prefer guests made a donation to a charity rather than bringing flowers? Is there a song or number of songs you’d like played? Is there a poem or biblical scripture that you would like reading out? Who would you like to read them?

Reception and catering – Will you have a reception after the service? What kind of reception will it be? A sit down meal or drinks and nibbles? Do you have a favourite food you’d like everyone to have?

Your final ride – How will you take your final ride? In a hearse? a motorbike with a sidecar? horse and carriage? Tractor? The options are endless!

Any special features – Would you like anything special placed in or on your casket? Do you have an old secret recipe that you’ll finally share with everyone? Do you want everyone to wear something in particular? You could consider having doves or butterflies released or even have everyone sign your casket.

OK how do I do all of this?

You might be surprised to know that it’s easy and even better….free! There are two ways to go about pre-planning your funeral. You can simply download and fill in a pre-planning form here or meet with a funeral director at one of our venues or in the privacy of your own home. If you choose to also prepay your funeral, you’ll be able to reduce your assets. You can put up to $10,000 towards your funeral, tax-free. This money is held securely by the FDANZ Funeral Trust, not the funeral home. Whether you prepay, pre plan or both you’ll be able to rest easy knowing you’re going to get the send of you want.

Davis General Manager Nardus Oelofse, proudly presented the Health and Beauty category awards at the Albert Eden Business Awards recently.

The Albert-Eden Business Awards aim to foster a sense of pride around the local business community, while communicating to the wider public the quality of commercial offerings in the district. For the individual business owners it is a chance to celebrate their success, as recognised by their peers and the community. Winner in the Health and beauty catergory were Laser Clinics NZ – award accepted by Jacinta Needham. Highly commended went to Jan Waite Hairdressing – award accepted by Jan and Mal Waite.

I have some news to tell you

Now what? You know you have to tell your child that a loved one has died but how do you do that? You may not even be sure how to deal with your own grief, let alone help your child get through theirs. How they react to grief will depend on a few different things, such as age, how close they were to the person that’s died, how much support they receive and their personality/usual reaction to emotion and stress. There are some things that you can do to help your child understand and make sense of what’s happening.

Where do I start?

All children will react differently. Reading their cues and noticing how they’re feeling is the best way to start. This may continue for quite some time, even well after the death and funeral but as with adults, support throughout the grief journey will help your child learn how to live with their loss.

Listen – Being listened to and having their thoughts and feelings legitimised allows your child to feel safe and supported, meaning they’re more likely to ask for help if they need it. It is more important to listen than to say the perfect words.

Lelp them put their emotions into words – Your child may not have felt some of these emotions before and not be able to name them. Saying things like “I know you’re feeling very sad. I’m sad, too”. Understand that they may also feel emotions such as fear and anger and that those words are OK to use as well.

Honesty – Let your child know what’s happening in easy to understand language. Avoid using terms such as “gone to sleep”, “passed away”, “We’ve lost ….” These terms can be confusing because young children hear things literally. As hard as it may be, it is important to be clear and honest. Use the words dead and died and explain that this means they can’t come back. Young children are at a stage of ‘magical thinking’ where they believe that somebody could come alive again. Without a clear understanding of death they may also think that the person may still feel things and be cold, lonely or hungry. For your child to be able to process grief, they must understand what death is.

Talk about what to expect in the coming days – It’s comforting for your child to know what is going to be happening at a time that can seem very confusing and unsettling. From things such as time away from school or somebody different picking them up to the funeral and what’s going to happen there. It’s helpful for them to know when things will be back to ‘normal’. For instance, “Aunty is going to pick you up from school this week but next week I’ll be picking you up as usual”.

Have a conversation about funerals – It’s a common question “When is my child old enough to attend a funeral?” and there’s no easy answer. Young children don’t tend to be scared of dead bodies the way some adults are. By giving your child as much information as possible about the day, you can help them decide (if they’re old enough) if they would like to attend. It also serves as a great way to prepare them for what they will see, hear and do at the funeral. What’s important to remember is that keeping your child away from the funeral means they’re missing a very important step on the grief journey .Things you might like to talk about are: Who will be there. What is going to happen. Where will the service be. When will it be. Why are we doing it and How will people be reacting. Explaining that you and other people might be sad and crying shows your child that this is normal and if they want to cry too it’s OK. It’s also a good idea to let them know that after the service the person will be buried or cremated and what that means.

Give them a roll – If your child takes part in the funeral in some way, it helps them to feel a part of it and therefore to acknowledge their feelings and feel that others are acknowledging their feelings too. They could light a candle, write or read a poem, choose a song to play or choose a photo to be displayed next to the casket.

Help them make memories – In the days and weeks after the funeral, it’s a good idea to keep talking to your child about their feelings and help them to create memories of the person. They could draw pictures, write about the person, how they looked, how they smelled, the things they used to like doing together, look at photos or videos, they could even write the person a letter or keep a journal. For more ideas and resources go to Kenzie’s Gift

Give them time – There’s no prescribed time for anyone to feel better after the death of a loved one. It could be weeks or even months later and your child may begin talking or asking questions about the person or about death in general. This is just them processing their feelings and emotions and learning how to live with their grief. It’s very healthy behaviour so continue to support and encourage them.

Having a safe and healthy first experience of death can set your child on the right path for dealing with future grief and loss.

“Put me in a cardboard box and put me out with the rubbish”

This is a phrase that’s heard all too often these days. Many people believe that having a funeral will be a burden on those left behind, a sad event that everybody feels they ‘have’ to attend. The truth however is a far cry from this modern belief. Human beings have been honoring the dead for thousands of years in many different ways and the downturn of this in recent years is now manifesting itself in negative ways. Ways that are affecting people’s ability to complete the ‘grief journey’.

What is a grief journey?

The death of someone close to us results in an inevitable journey we must all experience called “grief”. It will be very different for each of us but regrettably, there is no way to avoid it. Dr Alan D. Wolfelt phD – respected author and educator on the topic of grief has created ‘The hierarchy of the purpose of funerals’. Let’s take a look at what that means. We’ll begin at the bottom and work our way up.

Reality – Funerals help us to begin to truly acknowledge the reality that someone in our life has died.
Recall – Funerals encourage us to remember the person who died and share our unique memories with others, creating hope for the future.
Support – Funerals bring together people who care about each other in an atmosphere of love and support.
Expression – Funerals allow us to express our inner thoughts and feelings about life and death.
Meaning – Funerals mark the significance of the life that was lived. They also help us find meaning and purpose in our continued living, even in the face of loss.
Transcendence – Ultimately, funerals help us to embrace the wonder of life and death.

But I don’t want a fuss

There are so many ways to celebrate the life of a loved one. A funeral does not need to be traditional, religious, public or ‘fussy’. What is important is to find the appropriate level of comfort and create something that feels right.

OK so how do I make sure I get what I want?

Well it means you will have to have one of ‘those’ conversations, the kind that are hard to start. Talking about it doesn’t have to be morbid though, after all, you’ll be discussing the things you love most and how best your family and friends can reflect on them when honoring your life. Remember – funerals are held for the living because they are the ones who need to move forward in their grief.

Learn more here: Free Pre-Planning guide

Davis Funerals was proud to sponsor the annual Christmas Ham Tournament.

There were over 100 Howick members as well as teams from other Auckland Clubs. 27 hams and ‘bottles’ were won on 3 greens! Our East Auckland Branch Manager, Richard Madders was there to present the winners with their prizes.

We’re excited to announce the return of The Davis Classic for 2020

We love the communities that we’re part of and the families we serve in West Auckland are no exception. We realise that good quality, free family events are few and far between in the modern era we and none more so than in the West.

After such a successful show last year, we’re proud to bring you our second FREE car show, filled with all sorts of vehicles that showcase a lifetime of motoring excellence. Please join us on the 8th of March 2020. We look forward to seeing you and your family.

Location: 140 to 150 Central Park Drive Henderson

Date: 8 March 2020

Time: 10.30am to 2.30pm

Parking: Free across the road, please follow signs on event day

The Davis Cup – Get your tickets today and support Dress for Success

On the 17th of April 2019, Davis Funerals & Dress for Success will be hosting the first ever Davis Cup Golf Day.

Our aim is to help raise funds for Dress for Success who will be opening their South Auckland branch in April as well. This is a great cause to support and we are able to do it while we have some fun along the way.
Format: Ambrose (Better Ball), 2 people per team

Special extras: On the day you elect to raise a few extra dollars by committing to a 50cent per stroke spend.
Details are as follows:

Date: 17 April 2019

Time: Midday

Where: Howick Golf Club
Costs:

$350 for a team of 2

$500 for a team of 2 and a cart
Includes: 9 holes of golf, food & drinks on the day.

The day itself will include a variety of prizes and auction to raise more funds

If you and a mate would like to enter please email [email protected]
We promise it will be a great day.

We are excited to announce our first inaugural Classic Car Show, The Davis Classic

We love the communities that we are part of and the families we serve in West Auckland are no exception. We realise that good quality free family events are few and far between in the modern era we are living in and none more so than in the West.

Thus we are proud to bring you our first FREE car show, filled with both American & European vehicles that showcase a lifetime of motoring excellence. Please come and join us on the 24th of March 2019. We look forward to hosting both you and your family.

Location: 140 to 150 Central Park Drive Henderson

Date: 24 March 2019

Time: 10am to 2pm

Parking: Free across the road, please follow signs on event day

Added Extras: Food Trucks standing by to take your order

Event Entry Cost: FREE

Parking Cost: FREE

Join us at 110 Kolmar Road between 17 – 27 December for a FREE festive light and garden display that the whole family will enjoy. Garden games such as dominoes, skittles and giant jenga are sure to provide some fun family entertainment.

Monday, 17 December:
Meet your favourite Frozen princesses, Anna and Elsa

Wednesday, 19 December:
Take your picture with Santa and Carols by Candelight

Friday, 21 December:
Food Trucks

Blankets and picnic baskets welcome.

A letter from The Philson Family

Dear Kelsey, We so appreciated all the care you took of us over a difficult time. You went above and beyond for us. We felt so well looked after and you made the process so much more personal and your caring manner and wonderful organisational skills made things so much easier for our family.

The Philson Family

A letter from Errol Farrington

Dear Kelsey, regarding the funeral of our dear Mum Valda May Farrington. I must thank all at Davis Funerals for the professionalism shown to us throughout the whole venture. Warren and I were really impressed with the warmth and friendliness shown and the guidance we received during the whole process. It was lovely to share our ideas etc with your team and feel they were welcomed and would be acted upon. A special thank you must be given to Kelsey for all her hard work and the manner with which she attended to her duties.

Again, a final thank you to all in team Davis. Sincerely yours – Errol Farrington

Troy becomes qualified

The funeral industry has always worked slightly differently when it comes to becoming a fully qualified member of staff. In any other profession, you would do your University training first and then go on to find a job.

The same rules don’t apply within the funeral industry. To get into the industry, you have to find a firm that’s willing to give you on the job training. This is easier said than done in an industry that is small, jobs don’t become available often. It makes competition for roles high and those that end up making it into the industry do spend countless hours gaining experience in order to be allowed to go on one of the funeral courses.

Seeing it as a calling, Troy Rehau, started with Davis Funerals at the young age of 17. Starting out as a Funeral Director’s Assistant, he impressed early on and later became the Workshop Manager for Davis. He decided that he wanted to be more involved in the funeral process and applied for the role of Embalmer at when it became available.

Having seen how committed Troy was, the decision was made to allow him to move to the mortuary. A few years on from that they, we are overjoyed to announce that Troy has completed his embalming training. Officially he will be welcomed into the qualified embalming community in March, after his graduating ceremony. Troy will join in the legacy of professionals who have cared for deceased with dignity, respect and honour before him.

On behalf of the Mearns family, I wish to convey our grateful thanks to Davis Funeral Services for your most professional and caring service you provided during the recent death of my Wife Shirley and Mother to our 3 Sons and four grandchildren.

On behalf of the Mearns family, I wish to convey our grateful thanks to Davis Funeral Services for your most professional and caring service you provided during the recent death of my Wife Shirley and Mother to our 3 Sons and four grandchildren.

Hi Bob, this is Wally Mearns friend of Lance Wright Ex Operations Manager St John Ambulance Service you may remember me.

On behalf of the Mearns family, I wish to convey our grateful thanks to Davis Funeral Services for your most professional and caring service you provided during the recent death of my Wife Shirley and Mother to our 3 Sons and four grandchildren.

In particular were very impressed with the service provided by Kelsey Mc. Skimming and the dignified way she cared for Shirley, we received many positive comments from Relatives and friends are the way she managed the service
We would also like to acknowledge the excellent service provided by celebrant John Oliver, he’s a very understanding and caring person and was of great support to me and the family.

We found it a reassuring experience dealing with Davis funeral Services you have provided service in the past for my late parents in the 1967, 1971 and two late Brothers in 1980s

In addition, I am a member of the Howick Bowling Club members are most Grateful for your generous Sponsorship.

Kindest Regards
Wally Mearns